He Sits like a Little Girl

Suing for dollars is an American affection. Like a lottery win, hit a negligence homer out of the park and a person is good to go. To go as long as the bounty lasts... that is. Indeed the business of suing is the grist that makes the USA a go-go.

Back when slip and fall meant an accident and not a pay day, things were simpler and more Ozzie and Harriet. People liked each other more back then and courtesy was common. But that was when music was played off of 45 rpm records on little monaural boxes. So ridiculous that all seems now.

Liability is the by word. Get on a bus or in a taxi, ooh, potential liability. Stroll down the produce aisle, lettuce leaf on the floor, po-li. Go to the medico, the dentico or any "o", again po liability lurks in the shadows. Vaccinations, oh boy... Too many bar drinks, yada...

Some things just mean payday... To wit,

• collision by rear end
• bad baby
• mold in a house sale
• death in police custody
• poor surgical outcomes
• and so much more

American lawyers are everywhere... Ever hear of too few lawyers? Not likely here. A society can run well without too many avvocati. But, in fact, the more of them around, the more the litigation stir-up swells. Hey, gotta eat!

But as a business model, the litigation schemo is a good one. Lookie...

1. Begin suing folks until they get scared
2. Then the marks get smart and buy insurance against lawsuit damage losses
3. Consumer prices rise to cover the additional business costs
4. Insurance companies accrue stashes of money from which they generate income
5. As the lawsuits come in people employed in the defense go to work
6. As the model evolves layers and layers of bureaucracy feast off of the action
7. Ultimately, with a strike, all parties enjoy the money paid out
8. In dire times, premiums rise to maintain profits for all
9. And so the circle completes and repeats

And so it should come as no surprise that a guy now living in Peru is suing an anesthesiologist in Florida for malpractice. http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/health/2012/05/18/flesh-eating-bacteria-consumes-man-penis/ Ho-hum! According to the aggrieved, he now has no cock. A cock-less man is useless like a a moto-bike, wheel-less. Useless - or so it has been alleged by the man missing his johnson. It is argued that the gas-doctor should have saved the guy's cock by not letting him have a prosthesis placed into his member back in 2007. Whoa! Hey, who wanted the implant?

Enrique Milla used to be a sunshine stater. That is, back in '07 when his flubber-pud didn't work so well that he wanted to have it stiffened, sore to speak.

"I had problems having intimate relations with my wife. As time went by, that problem got worse."

Bad luck set in when the diabetic drum sticker developed a post op infection with the dreaded flesh eating bacteria. Necrotizing fasciitis is the more proper moniker for the flesh eating disease, but that's like calling a person Willard if Mitt will do. A variety of microorganisms can be the culprits, but the most common one is Streptococcus as in cock-us. As for Mr. Milla, it matters little which microbe ate him out.

Milla was then and is now a diabetic. For vascular, neural and other reasons sugar-men have a higher incidence of dickie-no-workie than the less treacle-y. Diabetics also have a higher incidence of, among other things, post op infections. It would surprise no one with half a brain that Milla would develop a post penile implant infection. But here's the rub, the cause of action according to legal beagle Spencer Aronfield, asserts that Dr. Laurentia Boeru, the anesthesiologist, should NEVER have allowed that implant to be placed. The libidious Enrique had too high blood sugar and too high blood pressure and worse, neither the blood sugar or the blood pressure were properly assessed pre operatively!!

Egads! In Boeru's testimony, he stated that his job was to manage the anesthesia. He implied that his role was limited to the actual anesthesia.

"I addressed a small period of time of contact with the patient, which is the preoperative period of time," Boeru said on the stand. "My role is stopped when the epidural catheter, that's what you do in Obstetrics, is out or the patient is out of recovery."

As it turns out, Patient Milla had not seen a doctor for fifteen years before he showed up for the better-sex surgery. One would have to wonder how he even knew he was a diabetic or that he had hypertension. Did he?

What about the surgeon? What was his role. Maybe just a slice and dicer, who cuts and cures, he may have thrown three sheets to the wind. Was there no pre-operative clearance. Was the role of assessing and clearing the less than punctilious Milla for surgery left to...? Boeru!!!

Alright then. Here's what's on the table...

• A man without a cock
• His cock was eaten by flesh eating bacteria
• The bacteria got to eat the cock as a result of a surgical procedure gone bad
• The procedure the man had was one wherein his cock was worked on in an effort to get it hard
• The man wanted to satisfy his wife, but he had a soft cock
• As a result of having no cock, now the man has to sit to pee
• And as a result of the ordeal and his ongoing issues, the man has endured irreparable damages, pain and suffering
• Money!!!

This case seems slam-dunk, but it's moving forwards nonetheless. It is clear somebody is going pay out. By Jove, Enrique is cock-less! The plaintiff is testifying via Skype. Ozzie Nelson would piss up a storm if he could see that. Since he died in 1975, at the age of 69, technology has taken off. In distinction to Enrique, Ozzie would be standing (if he weren't dead) to piss up that storm. Enrique has to sit to pee like a little girl. Like a little girl Aronfield will tell the cross legged jury... he-he.

Ciao