pplume's blog: Deadbeat Dad (Père)

Oh man, er, man... Oh deadbeat... dad. A deadbeat dad is not a man, so for this exercise the best jump off will be, Oh deadbeat! Here are a few Wiki facts about the dud-dad...

born 28 May 1962
did his military service in the French Consulate Economic Expansion station in Los Angeles (United States), during which he was in charge of studying fashion and new technology sectors in the States...wtf
he became the manager of the company’s buying department. In 1989, he became head manager of France Bois Industries
In 1993, he was appointed CEO of CFAO
... hobby in computing led him to take an interest in the Internet’s expansion in the 1990s
May 2003, his father, gave him the presidency of Artémis
On 20 June 2007, he also became president of German sports retailer Puma's Executive Committee,
On 17 February 2011, François-Henri Pinault announced that he would head the luxury branch of PPR
father of two children from his previous marriage, François and Mathilde
fathered a son called Augustin James Evangelista (born in 2006) with Linda Evangelista
married Salma Hayek on 14 February 2009 in Paris... daughter called Valentina Paloma (born on 21 September 2007).
he likes to relax practicing magic with playing cards
(he) likes football. He owns the Stade Rennais
... April 2006, he was awarded Chevalier de l’Ordre National de la Légion d’Honneur

This lad is worth, hmmm, not much. Yes he earns a reported $4 million a year and yes his family worth is round $11.5 billion. But four mill ain't what it used to be. After all, considering the price of things today, such a paltry sum is chump change. Who is the chump? Not yet...

Our fellow likes to ball bare some of the time. Duh, he has four recognized children, three of whom he supports. If he played baseball, he would be support hitting .750... Yikes, Hall of Fame and more! But when it comes to being a Dad, seven-five-oh is bush league. Bush... did somebody say something about somebody's bush?

Up until now, nobody knew much about Augustin. He is five, cute as a button and is called Augie. His Mom, Linda is now 46, an age when super and model do not jibe. As her earning worth has declined, she has reached out to get some dough from chump-ass. Requesting around $46,000 a month, Lin seems to be making a modest request. Really, who could live on less?

Mystery tool, as it turns out, did not want to procreate with LE. Allegedly, he did not assent to the impregnation, only the fornication. She got pregnant without his permission. Once the strip turned blue (or would that be yellow), Mr. I-Came! requested that the conceptus be made null and void. In short, the wizard of erections-past further opinated that since he didn't assent or want Aug, he should not have to pay any money for his support. Makes sense rele... If you don't want something, why pay for it?

Well that darn Linda, so American... She took the foreskinator (playing the odds here) to court. The usual, child support and the like. So, as they say in the States, the shit hit the fan. The ejaculator has been exposed as a cheap scoundrel and worse, Salma has been impugned by association. Lucky she has large airbags to lessen the impact of her mud fall. Bush too?

So, who is this cocker? Who? Well, before naming names, the word bastard has to be redefined. Yeah sure, a kid born out of wedlock. So stupid a word now since half of American babies are bastards. So the word bastard has lost its derogatory smack. But language changes and so it goes here. The new meaning of bastard is a kid who has no support from one or the other of his or her unmarried parents. Sooo, Auggie-Doggie (that had to be said) has been and is currently bastardized by his daddy-o. Conversely, Aug will be de-bastardized once his progenitor begins regular installments, which should be starting soon. As an aside, whaddya think the judge will back assess the ass?

Lets' round to $40K a month time 60 months (5 years)... egads. No wonder the schlub's been holding back... The tab so far is $2,400,000! Lucky that's not euros.