Sad Penny

Every thing has a season... to be significant. Yup everything!! Right now Google and Apple are so hot, but their successes will be ephemeral. Indeed, the rise and fall is as sure as existence itself. Perhaps one need only look at immortals like Willie Mays and Bob Cousy. Both, once great athletes, are declined to who? status.

And so it was with that midset that Sidney Me tackled the basement. Oh no, not a football move, but rather he was given the job of clearing out the subterranean dump hole. You see, Me was moving and there was 17 years of crap-ola strewn out like a gas filling a container. In another life, Me might have been a star himself. But he had no advantage to speak of - so that despite his ability to drive a burn cover baseball 450 feet, he became a slub-bub. A married slub-bub.

Midgelet Sporkin Me was once something. Sort of a cross between Zooey Deshanel and Tarja Turunen, she went to seed when her ovaries failed. Not her fault, brick shaped post-meno ladies are normal. The pity was the demise of of her estrogen levels left her mean and chatty. Quite a combination, mean and chatty. If Si's testosterone levels hadn't fallen to a quarter of a tank he might have bolted. But... a man low in testo is not a man at all. Fuck!

Methodically the diminutive plodder went through a decade plus seven years of shit with the precision of an accountant. Ha! Sidney is in fact a mutton chopped number's cruncher, too careful for his own good... Old posters of mitosis and nuclear fission reminded him of when the kids were cute, before they developed BO and bad habits and moved out. As he looked over his work, he choked up like Boston Bill Buckner did so many years ago when he flubbed that roller on first base.

Dolls, board games, Leggos and snow boards were toe jambed into a closet. In turn, he fingered each item as if he had found an old lover cast away curbside. Once you love something, shucks, you always have a soft spot. Human nature is a funny thing. What Siddy didn't realize was that the death of the dolls and the Leggos and the rest of the basement fodder was for him, death too. If he had been smarter, he would have sent no-waist down into the house bowels to do this dirty work. Right.., that would have worked.

As he moved deeper and deeper into the mess, he came upon several boxes, which had never been opened since before he and sour pussy moved into 3rd Street. Now there was a cool house, old and haunted. Sid remembered being as hard as rock back then. Tight abs and a rigid dick that could hold up a wet bath towel, Sid was on his game. That was the time of his life when he would have been considered hot.

But back then, like now, Midge ruled. She had tired of the old city 3 Street house by the sledding hill and she wanted new. And with two little ones and the need to get them properly schooled up, the 'burbs were Midge-deemed perfect. The brillo pad can move mountains, at least that was what Cholly Me used to say to his son Sidney. Choll was right. Back then, all ladies had pads of pubic hair. Come to think of it, Sidney realized that that too had faded. Sidney fantasized about buff, tee-hee. He knows about what modern girls look like. Porns, he does porns.

One of those unopened boxes caught his eye. The box was odd in that it had the pink name of his mother, Alice, scribbled on the side, as if the person who wrote it was hanging by her feet from the ceiling. The letters were askew and the ink penetration was varied and inconsistent. Chills ran his spine up to down making the hairs in between sweaty and sensitive. He remembered that his mother had given him this tattered box about 20 years ago. For whatever reasons, he had forgotten about his coin collection.

When he was a little kid Sidney Me was fascinated with the dates of coins. When he learned that some of the coins were minted with P's, S's and D's, he insisted on checking any coins which he could get his hands on for dates and mint impressions (P=Philadelphia, D=Denver, S=San Francisco.) Consequently, he collected some coins, but he never became more than a slight surface collector. It was on a visit to his mother's house for a salad and a steak back then that Alice Me gave her son his collected coins back. They had been in her basement for forever.

So he sat and squatted for over an hour caressing the books and the smooshed-in metal discs. So tender was he. Amongst the dime and nickel and quarter and penny books, it was the penny collections which moved him most. He went spazz when he saw his uncirculated 1955 S Lincoln head. It was still some shiny. Having traded a complete 1957 Yankee Topps set for that copper made it all the more precious. Funny how decades had gone by and he never once even thought about this past passion. Funny. Fuck funny.

Ah, the penny has fallen on hard times. For sure, it has run its course. The metal in the penny is worth more that the face value of the coin itself. There is a movement afoot to eliminate the penny. Heck, Canada has already made a move to ax the brown slug. Just about when Si espyed the 1943 dull gray zinc pennies (it was war time and copper was needed to make killing machines), gut emotion arose from deep down.

He wept like a baby...

• for the sad penny
• for the long dead Alice
• for the longer dead Cholly
• for the bricked out and fried Midgelet
• for his kids, who never called him
• for his loss of hardness
• for being out of season, out of style and out of step

Tomorrow the sun will rise anew. Tomorrow, somewhere, there will be plenty of life. Tomorrow Sidney and Midgelet Me are going to buy a 1500 square foot house in an over 55 gated shit-box development in South Carolina. Fuck! Fuck!!

Hey, wondered Sid...

Want My Two Cents?

Anybody?? 

Fuck!

Oh Sidney...

meet Penny (Kaley Cuoco)

Penny of The Big Bang Theory
Penny would listen
Bet she is buff too