Saturday, October 29, 2011

Trick and a Treat

Cilantro is a weird smelly herb

In the spirit of the season, Bobby Cilantro, went to the City - Atlantic. Told the thick 'swa'd ux, Sylvie, he was gonna meet some old college buds for a night of sterile ribaldry. Yeah he knew it was the 'ween tide and that the family was counting on him to dress up like a ghoul. His "job" was to jump out of the hedges and scare the shit out of the neighborhood kids, who had the guts to try to shake the Cilantros down for candy. After all, Bobby and Sylvie Cilantro still handed out full size bars... So the kids came!

Truth was there were no buds to meet. C-lex was just wantin' to get a little "boogie time". Yup, that's what C-lex called his occasional debauches to the City. Alone and free, he liked to gamble, drink and fuck Asian whores. Skinny ones, the kinds with bones you could feel. Ones, ones who made Bobby feel big.

Rain driving sideways meant nothing to the Taj Mahal crowd. Ensconced where there is no day or night, no clocks and no windows, a person forgets a thing like the weather. Thursday nights are a little busy, but not like a weekend. Table hopping and attention getting were so much sweeter on the weekdays. The rude brood from New York always made Fridays and Saturdays less appealing to Cilantro, who is a quintessential small ponder.

It was a good night, up more than $15K and full of shrimp Fratterolli and 42 Below vodka, could a man ask for more? Well, yes, yes he could. S-E-X, indeed, sex. And that's where Lu Chang entered C-lex's life. Lu Chang, a part-time Ventnor nail girl by day and a City hooker by night, is everything the paunchy Papa from Blackwood ideates. The bump into was no accident, but it seemed soooo innocent... enough. After all, the Taj is crowded and bump intos are commonplace. Right?

She worked him as if he was a glove and she was a hand. After the obligatory, "excuse me's", they were off to the races. Another two straight ups for him and not much more than a sip for her led to his comped room. Oh, men are so stupid. To think that she hadn't had him marked was Bobby's Achilles heel. Lu and her scout, pit boss Simon Sledge, set the dolt up like a ten pin.

Drunk men are sooooo easy. The  big problem for the hook is "can he get it up"? Pros know if you can get a drunk to pop off, sleep ensues as if Diprovan were running full bore into his antecubital vein. Trouble is that most guys, even some young ones, can't get hard when they drink too much. The other thing, any whore worth her salt will tell an acolyte, is don't let a drunk mark go supine too quickly. If the head hits the pillow, a fitful sleep will ensue. But the sleep is so much deeper when kicked in by post orgasm endorphin release. And besides, once a mark cums, the service is rendered. The harlot's work is done. Fini!!

Thin, so thin, Asian thin. Almost, well, not almost, boyish. Bobby Cilantro, drunk-yes, horny-yes... Lu was surprised at his enthusiasm. All over her like a rash, he was a demanding lover. He did run her, happy to pay the extras:
  • basic straight up ...  $300
  • oral plus ... $200
  • anal plus ... $500
  • no condom plus ... $500
For $1500 cash, Lu kissed. Considered the last bastion, prostitutes do not kiss. Kissing is too intimate, too meaningful, but for a good customer... Smooch-smooch-smooch!! C-lex went around the world.

What Lu didn't know, but she suspected, is that C-lex had downed 100mg of Viagra. Not that he couldn't still rod it, but the blue pill rocked him. To her surprise, he stayed hard after he dropped 5 cc's in her vajayjay. She had to take him again (this time, rear port) before he gave up the ghost. AGAIN, maybe 3 or so more! With a few deep sighs, the lug fell off the cliff. Man did he snore.


Holy fuck... At least she left the car keys. As he drove the Expressway home, he was lucky to have EZ Pass for tolls and a 3/4 tank; he had no money, no credit cards and no ID. As he passed Exit 38, he felt his neck get red as he thought of how the cop, some kid named Sweeney, was laughing when he "investigated". Crimes like these are small fish in AC, he explained, a place where patrons are killed in the parking garages. Killed!

As he turned onto Sunrise Avenue, he cooled out. Collected, he would walk into the house and tell some bud stories and all would be well. "Broke even, more or less", oft was said in these situations. Being a Friday and the two kids aschool, Sylvie was waiting for him. She was anxious, hooded, wet and heated. A woman of passion and needs...

"Honey I'm Home!" blurted Bobby. He walked into the bedroom and...

"Damn!!" He swallowed. "Are you shittin' me?" (sotto voce)

"Please god, just this time for the Gipper..." (more sv) Whenever Bobby Cilantro gets jammed up he gipperizes. Indeed.

Trick or Treat
(How long does a Viagra work??)

E cosi va...

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