Thursday, October 27, 2011

Smart, Naked LiLo

December 10, 2011

The Lindsay Lohan pictorial was inspired by the Marilyn Monroe nudes by Tom Kelley that launched Playboy & her career.

Hugh Hefner 

Nearly one million, yup, that's the number. Lindsay Lohan is to receive nearly one million dollars (US) to pose naked for Playboy Magazine. That's a nice chunk of change for a weekend of work. Naked work. Full frontal naked... tasteful.*

Ah, the naked thing isn't what it used to be. Nowadays naked is two, maybe three keystrokes away at any time. Like anything else, the more accessible, the less the thrill. Oh crap on that. Naked is like ice cream, a temporary sate is the most that can be achieved. Human hungers are recurrent.

In terms of cash for nudity, it's sexist. Naked women are simply worth more than men in the buff. In terms of cash for nudity, a few women have a peak value in terms of time (age and situational) and life position (status). Most females will pose, depending on who-what-where-when-how, for free. Although just a guess, there are nude photos of at least 75% of women below the age of 40, somewhere... Some women even send in their sexy-selves to websites just for the exposure... from

From a different viewpoint, almost no one can get much cash for baring skin in a nude photoshoot. Thus, Lohan's near seven figure payday is notable. To frame it another way, JWoww of Jersey Shore has been offered $400,000 for a Playboy spread. (So far she has declined the offer.) Consequently, the LiLo $1M is all the more impressive.

Ms. Lohan has posed naked before. She did a smooth and sophisticated New York Magazine series of Marilyn Monroe outtakes in 2008. Done by Bert Stern, the presentation was dubbed The Last Sitting. Lindsay looked sultry and the presentation was a success. While Lohan is a bad girl, what with her criminal convictions, drug forays, homosexuality, heterosexuality, family travails and general demeanor, she lacks the essential, intangible hubba-hubba and aura of a traditional sex symbol. Nonetheless, she is earning a million dollars...

Even though LiLo is only 25, she looks as if the miles are piling up. For example, recent reports and images of her less than perfect dentition are curious. Also, her not naturally blond hair is too processed and appears brittle. Perhaps she needs to chat-up Andie MacDowell for some styling help?

Speaking of hair... The quintessential Playboy question is naturally... pubic hair. So, place a bet. the choices include, but are not limited to
  • Does LiLo show it?
  • Natural, trimmed, landing strip, none?
  • Color... natural or bleached?
And always with Playboy, photoshopping. How much, how bad, how flawless? Back in the old days, airbrushing was the term of art. But now, computer technology allows the key-stroker-editor much more latitude. Doubtless the up-and-down worthy Lindsay Lohan, soon to be offered in full spread form, will be homogenized. Too bad...

The public does indeed have an insatiable appetite for star skin. Lohan is a smart woman. At 25, the bloom is still on the rose. As such, she cannot be faulted for her cash-in. So, the hype is building, the anticipation is palpable, the drum roll is beginning... yada-yada.

Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson

Anne Hathaway

Lindsay Lohan nude, coming soon... Please don't say, "Who cares?" Please....

E cosi va

* TMZ has reported that Fleshlight, a company which makes molds of genitals, has offered Lindsy Lohan $1M for her likeness. There is a market for realistic fleshlights, which are male masturbatory devices. Has the world gone one million dollar mad? Here's Jesse Jane's Fleshlight... just showin', just sayin',  just pumpin'. hehehe

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