Saturday, September 4, 2010
Kat Von D, N-E-X-T
Gomer Pyle would say, "Shazaam" or "Golly".
Pyle was a famous character in the Andy Griffith Show, which aired on CBS from 1960-68. Portrayed by Jim Nabors, the dim witted Gomer was amazed at most things, things which would prompt his wide eyed responses. Mr. Nabors, who possesses a powerful and rich baritone voice, vocalized Pyle with a high pitched silly, southern twist. It was shocking to hear and see him sing. What a transformation.
Kat Von D announced via Twitter that she and the erstwhile Jesse James are in love. No, not the nineteenth century outlaw, but the modern day inked up customizer. Jesse, who became famous for his creative motorcycles and his TV spinner, Monster Garage, is in love with love. At least it seems he loves love since he is in love again after just being in love with Sandra Bullock (a bullock is a castrated bull). The Vanilla Gorilla (a PET name for Jesse used by Michelle "Bombshell" McGee) must have failed to see how a marriage to Bullock would never work out. Bullock?
What was Sandra thinking when she married the muscled hunk (he had two marriages and three children and more under his belt)? His track record was too bumpy to earn him the distinction of being Sandra's first.
What a contrasting couple they made during their 5 year hook up. Well, without going there, most observers know darn right well what the deal was, what Jesse James brought to the table was something the native Virginian had never ever experienced. Indeed and Wow.
The downfall of Jesse James' marriage to Bullock was precipitated by the bodacious Ms. McGee.
Bombshell came out with the news in March 2010 that she and Vanilla had had an eleven month affair. Naturally, she possessed the requisite proofs, spew stained clothes, messages and whatever else a person keeps to document such things. Michelle, herself, is noteworthy. Claiming to have been raised Amish, she can set the little black buggies afire with her exploits. Despite the fact that she has posed and stripped, she is a mother of two with purported French fluency and a degree in Biology. In addition, she says she has gone to medical school for 2 years and that she gets excited when doctors talk medical. Recent stage names include Avrey and Bombshell.
As with the more notorious than Jesse, Tiger Woods, the ladies came out once the sack opened up. In quick sequence, Jesse's girls claimed their fifteen minutes. A heavily tattoed (man, Jesse likes 'em inky) Melissa Smith
declared that she and the Gorilla had a two YEAR affair. And then, a day later, photographer, Brigette Daguerre,
boasted she and JJ did the do four times, but that they kept the embers fanned with texts and sexts. Also, to the shocked Bullock's embarassment, the news of Jesse's $700,000 plus payment to a former female employee came to light when all else was hitting the fan. The former college footballer admitted nothing, but suffice it to say there were allegations of sexual impropriety and the flesh ripping Gloria Allred was involved.
Kat Von D is an artist and a good one at that. She is, of all things, a tattoist. That inky little spider
sure has a hold of Jesse's fantasy world. Ms Von D, originally named Katherine Drachenberg, was born in Mexico to Argentinian parents. Her intriguing visage is the product of her father's Germanic countenance and her mother's Italian and Spanish lineage. Kat is the star of the TLC reality offerings, LA Ink
and Miami Ink. Von D seems serious when she declares that she and Jesse are in love. OK, then.
Shazaam, that Jesse James can pump fast. Women, women and more women. Like eating chips, one is not enough. Disregarding the messes he has left behind, Jesse James is cool. Cooler than everybody. He has it all working. Ignoring the broken hearts, the prevarications, the missed kid stuff and the duplicity, what a grand life he leads. Golly, Jesse James is a modern day role model. Knowing how frequently Mr. James furrows the field, maybe he can get a one hour special on ESPN to announce who he will be loving next. Vitamin Water
will surely sponsor such a suspenseful shindig. After his love for Kat Von D subsides, of course. How's the second week of October?
So it goes, JAMES.