Tuesday, June 29, 2010

USA Beats Ghana (And Everybody Else)




The United States ranks first in obese citizens. For many, who think Americans are losing their competitive edge, that news is disappointing. To those naysayers, be clear, we can compete, we are #1! Although Ghana beat the USA at the World Cup yesterday, the Ghanans go down to defeat in the bulky body habitus competition. Ghana didn't even make the list of the top 30 fattest countries. Hah.

The World Health Organization cites energy dense foods and lack of exercise as the major underlying etiologies for America's leadership role in calorie storage. Americans enjoy fat loaded, high fructose corn syrup delicacies. Just go to any supermarket and count the bags and bags of neato, colorful confections available to anyone with a few bucks. And with fast food chain Sodom and Gomorrahs on every corner, we can get a fat and salt fill anytime and anywhere. Although most of us have never been to Ghana, a reasonable American would guess that our African brothers can't compete with us when it comes to really, really dense calorie availability.

So, Ghana beat us in soccer or futbol or whatever you want to call it. So, so what! Whenever the World Table Games begin, we will crush them. Really, we will.

Percentage of obese citizenry by country. Read 'em and weep.

Rank Countries %

# 1 United States: 30.6%
# 2 Mexico: 24.2%
# 3 United Kingdom: 23%
# 4 Slovakia: 22.4%
# 5 Greece: 21.9%
# 6 Australia: 21.7%
# 7 New Zealand: 20.9%
# 8 Hungary: 18.8%
# 9 Luxembourg: 18.4%
# 10 Czech Republic: 14.8%
# 11 Canada: 14.3%
# 12 Spain: 13.1%
# 13 Ireland: 13%
# 14 Germany: 12.9%
= 15 Portugal: 12.8%
= 15 Finland: 12.8%
# 17 Iceland: 12.4%
# 18 Turkey: 12%
# 19 Belgium: 11.7%
# 20 Netherlands: 10%
# 21 Sweden: 9.7%
# 22 Denmark: 9.5%
# 23 France: 9.4%
# 24 Austria: 9.1%
# 25 Italy: 8.5%
# 26 Norway: 8.3%
# 27 Switzerland: 7.7%
= 28 Japan: 3.2%
= 28 Korea, South: 3.2%
Weighted average: 14.1%

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